Use Your Triggers as a Compass—Not a Cage

We’ve all felt it—that sudden jolt inside when someone says something, does something, or simply exists in a way that rubs us raw. A glance, a tone, a pause too long—and suddenly, our chest tightens, our breath shortens, and we’re flooded with emotion.

Most of us were taught to avoid them, suppress them, or blame someone else for causing them. We point outward: “She’s so rude.” “He never listens.” “They always make me feel small.” But what if your triggers weren’t something to run from? What if they were invitations—gentle nudges from your inner world asking you to listen?

Your external environment—people, places, situations—is simply holding up a mirror. What you see reflected is an internal wound, a belief, or a story that hasn’t been fully healed. That colleague who interrupts you? Maybe it’s poking at an old narrative that your voice doesn’t matter. That friend who cancels last minute? Maybe it’s stirring up a fear of abandonment. That stranger’s judgmental glance? Maybe it’s brushing against a deep insecurity you’ve carried for years.

Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Triggers are feedback. They’re your nervous system’s way of saying, “Hey, there’s something here that needs your attention.” They’re not proof that the world is against you—they’re clues that something inside you is asking to be seen, heard, and healed.

So, how do we shift from being reactive to being reflective?

It starts with a pause. When you feel triggered, take a breath. Literally. Give your body a moment to catch up with your mind. Then name what you’re feeling. Is it anger? Sadness? Fear? Naming it helps you step outside of it, even just a little. From there, ask yourself: What story am I telling myself right now? When have I felt this way before? What part of me is asking to be seen?

This isn’t about self-blame. It’s about self-awareness. The goal isn’t to shame yourself for being triggered—it’s to understand yourself more deeply. To meet yourself with compassion instead of criticism.

Once you start seeing your triggers as teachers, everything shifts. You begin to recognize patterns in your relationships and responses. You begin to heal old wounds by giving them space and awareness. You begin to grow emotionally by choosing conscious responses over automatic reactions, and perhaps most beautifully, you begin to reclaim your power. Because when you stop outsourcing your emotional state to others, you start living from a place of grounded self-leadership.

Your triggers aren’t your enemies, and neither are the people who activate them. Your triggers are guides—a window into your inner workings.

So, next time you feel triggered, don’t rush to fix it or push it away. Pause, sit with it, sip your coffee, and ask, “What’s my nervous system trying to teach me?” And let your discomfort be a doorway to healing and growth.

Until next time,

Scott & Lennart